For some reason this just feels like the right thing to do. I don't know if there are any rules attached to being a musician and starting your own blog about it, but here I am, probably breaking them.
Being a musician, or probably more specifically, trying to have a career in music is truely a world of it's own. I guess I'm pretty new to it but I don't care, it's what I've always thought I was meant to do with myself and I love the journey.
Recently I've been feeling like I want to share more with people and I really want people to share with me. I've met so many amazing musicians this year and being able to connect through your art is such a personal connection to have with other people.
I feel like real connections are becoming so rare. So this is my way of putting myself out there in a different way. Maybe other people can relate to the things I experience because of my music and the way it effects my life. Maybe this will just be like a kind of online journal that keeps me sane sometimes and gives me an outlet that isn't chewing Neil's ear off all night (sorry babe).
This year I moved to The Blue Mountains from a little town on the South Coast of Australia called Tuross that no one has ever heard of. I didn't actually realise how much of a little bumpkin I was until I moved up here and have started going into Sydney to do things. I was so used to the town with one roundabout if you were lucky and literally nothing going on almost every night of the year...don't get me wrong it's a beautiful, peaceful place to live, but I felt like the world was passing me by and I needed to move on.
The first time I saw a cruise ship in Sydney Harbour I actually just thought it was a building blocking my view of the opera house, when I realised what it was all I could think of was how much time I'd spent with my ducks and how crazy this new world was!
The traffic here is mental, I'm actually really scared of Sydney driving but I'm getting better. I'm not going to lie, I get lost super easy and sometimes the anxiety involved in getting to a gig is the only actual anxiety I have about the gig.
I used to joke about how if I ever got lost in Sydney I'd have to find a job there and start a new life because I'd never come out. But seriously I'm getting better, my chronic fear of driving through Sydney is becoming less.
I just make myself do all this stuff that I'm terrified of and sometimes I seriously hate myself for it and wonder whether I should just quit music and spend the rest of my life talking to my ducks and taking my kids for ice-cream.
But for some reason I just can't quit, I guess at the end of the day this is what I believe I have to offer the world if I have anything to offer, so quitting on this would kind of be like a spiritual suicide.
I have anxiety, but I just force myself to keep doing things until they don't make me anxious anymore.
So after all that I'm actually really loving exploring Sydney. There is so much happening all the time! There is so much music all the time! There is so much awesome food available all the time, and all this stuff is seriously new for me!
I guess that's all that's on my mind at 3:51am...I guess I should try and get some sleep.
Adios and welcome to my blog!